Hello and nyob zoo rau sawv daws!
As a recent newlywed, I love being married to my husband. However, I often find myself a little scared, a little nervous, and a little worried about whether I am a good nyab to my in-laws. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a nyab is a daughter-in-law. With the Hmong culture, there are certain standards that a nyab has to live up to. Everyone in the family has a role to play to contribute to the family's well-being. In short, the nyab is expected be the homemaker of the family.
I come from a Hmong family with lots of daughters. However, my parents were never strict with traditional Hmong customs and gender roles. Therefore, I grew up knowing that I could learn, run, and fly as fast as anyone out there. I learned to do things that a Hmong girl is expected to do, such as butchering a chicken. But, I learned these things begrudgingly and tried to wriggle out of doing these chores. I studied more than I socialized. I graduated with a professional degree while I watched my Hmong colleagues drop out of college. I grew up with my feet in two different worlds. And while I am considered "successful" in one field, I am severely lacking in the other.
Thankfully, my in-laws have thus far been very understanding and accepting of my ineptness. And my husband is the sweetest man. He is learning alongside me as well to become a good vauv (son-in-law) too.
So, my fellow sisters and nyabs, join me as I learn how to be a good nyab while balancing my professional career. Please cheer me on and share your struggles and wisdom with me.
Much love,
V.
As a recent newlywed, I love being married to my husband. However, I often find myself a little scared, a little nervous, and a little worried about whether I am a good nyab to my in-laws. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a nyab is a daughter-in-law. With the Hmong culture, there are certain standards that a nyab has to live up to. Everyone in the family has a role to play to contribute to the family's well-being. In short, the nyab is expected be the homemaker of the family.
I come from a Hmong family with lots of daughters. However, my parents were never strict with traditional Hmong customs and gender roles. Therefore, I grew up knowing that I could learn, run, and fly as fast as anyone out there. I learned to do things that a Hmong girl is expected to do, such as butchering a chicken. But, I learned these things begrudgingly and tried to wriggle out of doing these chores. I studied more than I socialized. I graduated with a professional degree while I watched my Hmong colleagues drop out of college. I grew up with my feet in two different worlds. And while I am considered "successful" in one field, I am severely lacking in the other.
Thankfully, my in-laws have thus far been very understanding and accepting of my ineptness. And my husband is the sweetest man. He is learning alongside me as well to become a good vauv (son-in-law) too.
So, my fellow sisters and nyabs, join me as I learn how to be a good nyab while balancing my professional career. Please cheer me on and share your struggles and wisdom with me.
Much love,
V.