My husband and I have been together for many, many years. We love each other deeply and dearly, and pretty much know everything about each other. I can smell his fart two grocery aisles away and know its him stanking up the the store, and he can tell which clothes are mine when doing laundry because my clothes are always inside out.
But one of the biggest struggles I have had, and am still trying to overcome, is how to become closer with my in laws. They are wonderful people. Honestly, I feel like I really lucked out. You hear (and know) about those horrible Hmong in-laws who terrorize their nyabs to no end, just simply because she's not pretty enough, or because they don't like her clan name. I got really lucky. They are sweet, loving, and great to my husband and I. They aren't very demanding and pretty much let us do whatever we want (we are in our late 20s, so maybe this has something to do with it). They encourage us to visit my family, and encourage us to continue with our professional endeavors.
The thing is, I'm not quite sure how I fit within the puzzle pieces of my husband's family yet. I wonder....
But one of the biggest struggles I have had, and am still trying to overcome, is how to become closer with my in laws. They are wonderful people. Honestly, I feel like I really lucked out. You hear (and know) about those horrible Hmong in-laws who terrorize their nyabs to no end, just simply because she's not pretty enough, or because they don't like her clan name. I got really lucky. They are sweet, loving, and great to my husband and I. They aren't very demanding and pretty much let us do whatever we want (we are in our late 20s, so maybe this has something to do with it). They encourage us to visit my family, and encourage us to continue with our professional endeavors.
The thing is, I'm not quite sure how I fit within the puzzle pieces of my husband's family yet. I wonder....
am I alone in this struggle?
My husband has several brothers, but he doesn't have any sisters. He has one sister-in-law (she married the eldest son) but they live several states away, and so my in laws have never had an actual nyab that lived close to them. The in laws also have only a few grandkids, who are also several states away. My husband and I also live on our own too, since we both have busy careers, but we visit throughout the week.
And, since they grew up without any girls in the family, my husband's family tends to be more reserved.
When you combine all these things, you get a really quiet house. Its an entirely different environment for me. I can tell that we have all gotten closer since we got married, but it's still a bit awkward.
I try to do things that let my in laws know that I love them-- I cook and clean, buy a few things here and there for them, inquire into how they are doing. My father-in-law loves the bread from asian grocery stores, so I always make a point to buy some whenever we go home. For mother-in-law, if I see that the asian stores has fresh fruits and veggies, I will buy some and bring them home as well.
I just hope they understand that I am trying really hard to be a good daughter-in-law. I know they are trying really hard too.
For you veteran nyabs, do you have any advice on how to get closer to your in laws?
My husband has several brothers, but he doesn't have any sisters. He has one sister-in-law (she married the eldest son) but they live several states away, and so my in laws have never had an actual nyab that lived close to them. The in laws also have only a few grandkids, who are also several states away. My husband and I also live on our own too, since we both have busy careers, but we visit throughout the week.
And, since they grew up without any girls in the family, my husband's family tends to be more reserved.
When you combine all these things, you get a really quiet house. Its an entirely different environment for me. I can tell that we have all gotten closer since we got married, but it's still a bit awkward.
I try to do things that let my in laws know that I love them-- I cook and clean, buy a few things here and there for them, inquire into how they are doing. My father-in-law loves the bread from asian grocery stores, so I always make a point to buy some whenever we go home. For mother-in-law, if I see that the asian stores has fresh fruits and veggies, I will buy some and bring them home as well.
I just hope they understand that I am trying really hard to be a good daughter-in-law. I know they are trying really hard too.
For you veteran nyabs, do you have any advice on how to get closer to your in laws?